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Mensagem por Alvega Sex 06 Mar 2009, 00:42

Alguns já conhecerão parte delas, de qualquer maneira aqui ficam:

British Airways flight asks for push back clearance from terminal.
Control Tower replies: 'And where is the world's most experienced airline going today without filing a flight plan?'


ATC: 'Alitalia 345 continue taxi to 26L South via Tango - check for workers along taxiway.'
Alitalia 345: 'Roger, Taxi 26 Left a via Tango. Workers checked - all are working'


Nova 851: 'Halifax Terminal, Nova 851 with you out of 13,000 for 10,000, requesting runway 15.'
Halifax Terminal (female): 'Nova 851 Halifax, the last time I gave a pilot what he wanted I was on penicillin for three weeks. Expect runway 06.'


Lost student pilot: 'Unknown airport with Cessna 150 circling overhead, identify yourself.'


NY Ctr: 'Federal Express 235, descend, maintain three one zero, expect lower in ten miles.'
FedEx 235: 'Okay, outta three five for three one oh, FedEx two thirty-five.'
NY Ctr: 'Delta fahv twuntee, climb one ninah zeruh, dat'll be finah...'
Delta 520: 'Uhh... up to one niner zero, Delta five twenty.'
NY Ctr: 'Al-italia wonna sixxa, you slowa to two-a-fifty, please.'
Alitalia 16: 'HEY! You makea funna Alitalia?!'
NY Ctr: 'Oh, no! I make-a! funna Delta anna FedEx!'


Tower: Have you got enough fuel or not?
Pilot: Yes.
Tower: Yes what??
Pilot: Yes, SIR


Frankfurt Contol: 'AF1733, You are on an eight mile final for 27R. You have a UH-1 three miles ahead of you on final; reduce speed to 130 knots.'
Pilot: 'Rogo', Frankfurt. We're bringing this big bird back to one-hundred and thirty knots fer ya.'
Control: (a few moments later): 'AF33, helicopter traffic at 90 knots now11/2 miles ahead of you; reduce speed further to 110 knots.'
Pilot: 'AF thirty-three reining this here bird back further to 110 knots'
Control: 'AF33, you are three miles to touchdown, helicopter traffic now 1 mile ahead of you; reduce speed to 90 knots'
Pilot (a little miffed): 'Sir, do you know what the stall speed of this here C-130 is?'
Control: 'No, but if you ask your co-pilot, he can probably tell you.'


ATC: 'Cessna 123, What are your intentions? '
Cessna: 'To get my Commercial Pilots Licence and Instrument Rating.'
ATC: 'I meant in the next five minutes not years.'


Controller: AF123, say call sign of your wingman.
Pilot: Uh... approach, we're a single ship.
Controller: oh, oh shit! You have traffic!


O'Hare Approach: USA212, cleared ILS runway 32L approach, maintain 250 knots.
USA212: Roger approach, how long do you need me to maintain that speed?
O'Hare Approach: All the way to the gate if you can.
USA212: Ah, OK, but you better warn ground control.


ATC: Pan Am 1, descend to 3,000 ft on QNH, altimeter 1019.
Pan AM 1: Could you give that to me in inches?
ATC: Pan Am 1, descend to 36,000 inches on QNH, altimeter1019


Cessna 152: 'Flight Level Three Thousand, Seven Hundred'
Controller: 'Roger, contact Houston Space Center'


Beech Baron: Uh, ATC, verify you want me to taxi in front of the 747.
ATC: Yeah, it's OK. He's not hungry.


Pilot: 'Approach, Acme Flt 202, with you at 12,000' and 40 DME.'
Approach: 'Acme 202, cross 30 DME at and maintain 8000'.'
Pilot: 'Approach, 202's unable that descent rate.'
Approach: 'What's the matter 202? Don't you have speed brakes?'
Pilot: 'Yup. But they're for my mistakes. Not yours.'


Tower: 'American...and for your information, you were slightly to the left of the centerline on that approach.'
American: 'That's correct; and, my First Officer was slightly to the right'


Controller: 'USA353 contact Cleveland Center 135.60. (pause)
Controller: 'USA353 contact Cleveland Center 135.60!' (pause)
Controller: 'USA353 you're just like my wife you never listen!'
Pilot: 'Center, this is USA553, maybe if you called her by the right name you'd get a better response!'

BB: 'Barnburner 123, Request 8300 feet .'
Bay Approach: 'Barnburner 123, say reason for requested altitude.'
BB: 'Because the last 2 times I've been at 8500, I've nearly been run over by some bozo at 8500 feet going the wrong way!'
Bay Approach: 'That's a good reason. 8300 approved.'


Tower: 'Cessna 123, turn right now and report your heading.'
Pilot: 'Wilco. 341, 342, 343, 344, 345...'


Pilot: 'Good morning, Frankfurt ground, KLM 242 request start up and push back, please.'
Tower: 'KLM 242 expect start up in two hours.'
Pilot: 'Please confirm: two hours delay?'
Tower: 'Affirmative.'
Pilot: 'In that case, cancel the good morning!'


Another student, a not too bright woman, was coming in for a landing. The radio in the FBO was set to the ground freq.
It seems that she landed on the taxi way.
The ground controller told her, 'please call 555-9876 after you park the plane'.
She answered, 'No thank you sir, I'm already married.'


Cessna: 'Bay Approach, Cessna 12345 over South County Airport at four thousand feet, request permission to land at San Jose'.
Bay Approach: 'Cessna 12345, Squawk 4567, and do you have Hotel?' (the current SJC ATIS)
Cessna: 'Negative, we're going to stay with my sister-in-law'.
American 123: 'Does your sister-in-law have any extra rooms? '

Very Happy

Artur Santos
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Mensagem por alberto Sex 06 Mar 2009, 09:23

muito boas, não conhecia nenhuma.


Adolescentes Ibon


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Mensagem por Jacsantana Sex 06 Mar 2009, 12:13


Dei boas gargalhadas, Artur...
Manda mais dessas se puderes...


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Mensagem por Carvalho Sex 06 Mar 2009, 14:28

lol lol lol lol

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